Novak Djokovic Tennis: Day 4: All About Bobby Reynolds

What? You ask.

Who the hell is Bobby Reynolds and why the hell aren't you leading with today's big upsets?

I am.

With Andy Roddick's painfully predictable upset at the hands of Janko Tipsarevic and James Blake's perfectly predictable upset at the hands of Rainer Schuettler and Jesse Levine's reasonably predictable loss to Jurgen Melzer today, Bobby Reynolds, who advanced yesterday, remains the last American standing in the men's draw.

Bobby Reynolds. The challenger circuit journeyman with the cute face and high tenor voice.

Here's some of the shit I shouted (or wrote) during the Andy debacle:

Go, Andy!!!! Give away your serve with two beautiful forehands after taking out your frustrations on the chair ump for your inability to break serve!!!

Woohoooo!!!!

It amazes me that he took pace off his shots after he won his first Slam because he was criticized as a one-dimensional ball basher who couldn't beat Federer.

And now he's merely a counterpuncher with a big serve.

And a lot of doubt.

Connors restored confidence in Andy's backhand down the line. It became a weapon shortly after they hooked up. It was the single most improved shot that won him Cincy and got him to the US Open final that year.

Now, he doesn't hit it much at all and therefore, he can't break serve.

Andy's tennis problems are about as simple as he is.

Flail, flail away, Andy.

Breakpoint conversions: Andy, 0-7. Tipsy 2-2.

Clearly, Andy is far better at breaking his own serve than his opponent's.

I find it entirely silly that Andy is now waging a grunting battle with Tipsy because he got thrown off earlier in the match when Tipsy grunted loudly after striking a return and Andy claimed to be distracted so he hit a double fault and ended up dropping serve later in that game. Even the fans are laughing at this grunting battle, though it sounds so... well... sexual. Maybe that's why they were laughing.

It would serve Andy right to lose this match for blowing all those break points in the first set. I know Tipsy saved a few, but Andy played like a coward. Losing so few points on serve, he needs to chip and charge or something. But no, he dinks and waits for errors. It's so annoying.

But there was nothing more shocking than those two club-level returns on 75-mph (!) second serves on his two consecutive set points at 5-4 in the fourth set.

What the fuck was that?!?!?!?!?

He has turned into Amelie Mauresmo right before my eyes. But then again, she actually won this thing.

I've been window shopping for a new favorite since Melbourne.

Andy's always gracious in defeat but if he claims, like he is wont to do, that he didn't do anything wrong on his breakpoints, then he's delusional and he should pick another career.

I like Tipsy. And he took everything Andy gave him and played some great tennis on his own. But if he doesn't play tennis in his next match, win or lose, I'll hate him forever.

I don't have much to add now. Maybe I'll find some excuses for Andy in the coming days, but I doubt it. Choke, choke, choke. Choke, the chicken. And since I'm reminded right now of all those illicit grunts during the match, I think this picture sums up the position of Andy's caREER right about now.

Overheard

Vlad (over at TAT): You know, I always thought grass can play tricks with your mind. Therefore, all these results...

The Siberian Banshee Taken To Woodshed

Folks are calling this the upset of the tournament. After all, Maria Sharapova has won this thing while Novak Djokovic and Andy have not. All three of them had easy draws. On paper. But you gotta play the matches and when the paper came to live, they all failed. Andy flatout choked (chicken); Djoke was simply outplayed. Maria was arguably more favored in her match and few suspected she'd have any trouble getting through.

But the Alla Kudravtsava, the Russian young woman ranked No. 150 who almost beat Venus Williams in the first round last year decided she was up for the challenge against another Wimby champ and this time she would win.

Oh. Well.

The butch-femme Siberian Banshee is out of the tournament. Maybe she and Andy can take solace in each other.

Oh. Wait.

Andy's engaged and Maria is, well....

Moving right along.

At least Venus Williams won. Patrick McEnroe has his work cut out for him as the new general manager of elite player development for the USTA.

Maybe he should start by inviting Bobby Reynolds....

Nevermind. Reynolds is a journeyman. Donald Young is the Tin Man. Jesse Levine is the Tin Man. Sam Querrey wants another Porsche. John Isner is a serve. Wayne Odesnik likes clay but not much else.

But who would have thought that Bobby Reynolds would be the last American male standing at Wimbledon? In the third round?